Late Post, Due to the Fact that I am Fat and Old

By not checking his e-mail in a timely fashion, Richard missed out on the opportunity to sit in outstanding seats with me at Thursday's win over the Indians. This did not prevent him from stealing my thunder, however.

With boundless energy befitting a man his age, Richard posted an insightful, comprehensive analysis of Adam Eaton's early-season success, practically before Hoffy strode to the mound accompanied by "Hell's Bells." Scroll down and read it, all three of you, if haven't already.

With waning energy befitting the elderly and infirm, I give you the following comments regarding Eaton's ninth victory:

1. In a most philanthropic manner, Eaton seems to have decided that EVERY opposing batter is entitled to a three-ball count.
2. Coco Crisp hits the ball a hell of a lot harder than one would expect of a guy named "Coco." In fact, he hit three pitches as hard as any in the game, including Giles' dinger to dead center. Say it with me now: "Coco... Coco Crisp." Go figure.

Regarding last night's defeat at the hands of the White Sox, I have no comment, save that it inspired me to drink more heavily than I ought to.

Tonight, however, will be a different story, as I will be sitting in the Toyota Terrace, rooting furiously for a turnaround in our favorite team's fortunes. I am summoning karma from Batgirl's minions, as they will the hated "Bitch Sox" to horrible defeat. Which, of course, would mean victory for the Padres.

Perhaps I will post commentary on the Friars' striking down of the Bitch Sox before Richard does. But don't count on it, because the kid's good. Really good. As good as Coco Crisp, even.

Edit: Quit changing the font. :-P